Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom

When I first joined the company, I met Smurfette. I got close to her and whatever from happy things to sad things, I shared with her. I was close in the sense of hanging out for lunch and basically chatting whenever possible. Others soon joined in and the group became bigger and it was fun going out in big groups for lunch.

Lara Croft joined in and the group was complete. Lara and I got close as we confide (touch wood! till today) in each other about so many things.. probably because we share similar backgrounds and wavelengths. The Toad was part of the group and in the beginning, it was all fine. He and I were even close enough to play computer games during our break.

Smurfette, Lara and I spent time chatting from the ladies to the pantry right until we reach our car and called ourselves the Powerpuff Girls.. @ Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom..

It all changed when the Toad caused enough havoc and Smurfette had to make a choice and she chose the Toad over me. I dont really blame her as she was put in the middle but I do blame her for cutting me out completely. We only have limited conversations now and sometimes, forced jokes. Its sad because she was a dear friend and now, I am even doubting if I will go for her wedding. The real culprit is sitting quietly behind checking out his warts obviously enjoying the damage he has caused between Smurfette and me.

Now it's just Ms Croft and me.. oh well.. a toast to the Powerpuff Girls.. something I just have to leave behind in the past.

It has always been you..

I've always been one who wanted to get married. I think I have also fantasied about how the whole thing should be in my teens. I have joked with my father about eloping somewhere and informing the family from a phone booth. I wanted to grow up fast so badly that I was counting the days that I'll be in my mid-twenties.

Now that I AM in my mid-twenties, I have other things that strike me as more important like my work and making money. Love has taken a back seat for me and although is important, it's more finding the right person who can complete you. Like how Tom Cruise confessed his love in Jerry Macguire (in a constipated way, I have to add), finding someone who completes you is the ultimate challenge. Many waste away finding them all their lives and some, don't see them until it's too late. I have met mine but that is in the unknown zone.. :(

Coming back to my original idea, my friends have been getting married recently. I attended a wedding dinner of my uni mate and the feeling was overwhelming. I am happy that she found her soulmate but the fact that things will not be the same anymore is what I felt. It will no longer be Melissa.. it will be always Alvin and Melissa.. hmm..

Of course when you're in the function, you see people gushing over the couple, you too would wish the same.. you get a heavy feeling in the chest area... maybe even tear up... a little...just have to let it sink in and settle...
In the end, I just sat there quiet for a moment and let it all sink in... it is a joyous thing to find your other half... and instead of feeling sorry and bitter and negative.. the whole occasion is something to celebrate about... i do wish the best for them as Melissa is a dear friend of mine...

Que sera sera... whatever will be.. will be... the future's not ours to see... Que sera sera...

Black balloons

Today is one of my bad days.. I'm grumpy, tired and impatient. Basically a bitch today.

I was fine yesterday when I slept but I think I was restless because I was worrying about my packing for the trip. I was fussing away because of my limited outfits and I didn't want to look fat and even tried on my swimming suit. Twice. I was paranoid about how I looked because I haven't worn one in years.

Came to the office and all day I could hear about nothing else but the trip. I suppose everyone is excited but after having a sleepless night, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. Such a wet-blanket I am. Then comes in the piles of work which I have to finish by today and all that is in my mind is my unfinished packing and snoozing. ZzzZzzz...

There are a lot of back-stabbing going around which I usually ignore but today, these wannabee corporate climbers are getting on my nerves. They are the petty things like getting invited to ride along in the managers car while you're stuck with Darth Vader. It's like how you kill yourself by finishing up all your work and keeping to the plan of increasing efficiency and all that.. but the ones who do get noticed by the heads are the ones who can crack a porno joke and prance around the office.. Oh yes.. I have turned into the green-eyed monster but I dont show it.. I keep it all inside...

Anyway... life has to go on.. I'm going to forget all the unpleasantness around me for a while and look forward to enjoying my trip to Sabah... clean beaches, fresh air and sunshine, expensive paid-for hotel.. Land Below the Wind, here I come!!

Rise Lord Vader...

There is someone I see everyday who strikes me as Darth Vader. I dont go too close to him as he can be brutal to brush people off without thinking. I got zapped a few times and although I never forgot it, I have to keep my cool and continue working. There can be times when I feel like wringing his neck with my bare hands because is able to push me to the limit. And at the same time, he can be really helpful and "nice" to my occasional panic-attacks.

Darth Vader is severely misunderstood until the 3rd episode and only after that, people actually felt sorry for him. I dont feel sorry for the Darth Vader I see at work, but I have to understand that its his nature of work and the pressure he gets from everyone to perform, that makes him that way. That's when my hands get itchy. When he is in his "nice" mood , he can be amusing and sweet. Oh well.. shit happens..

In conclusion, like most Star Wars fans, this Darth Vader also belongs to the dark side but he still has a heart. Somewhere.