It's all about faith

I am born a Hindu. I practise it to the best I know how and I never bother about what people say about improving what I do or how I do certain things. I believe that we should fear some power greater than all of us. As a Hindu, I am not subjected to believe in only one Almighty god but there are versions of how we choose to see God.

There are times I honestly doubt if there is a God. After all, religion is man-made. I sometimes wonder if God has the time listening to me. I dont really ask for much.
But how much is too much? I'm not greedy and ask for money. I'm not vain and pray for God to help me lose the fat bum I have. I'm not impatient and ask for God to give me a promotion. All I ask every morning is to have a good day. I suppose that encompasses everything. From having enough money in my purse to last me the day, to keep me energetic and happy in the office, right up to having my bosses kept away at meetings that they dont bother walking around.. I suppose that sums up a good day for me. I do not get it everyday. I cant really blame God for that now, can I?
Anyway seriously, as a dumb mortal, I expect God to read my mind and know my deep desires. Its not so much as running to do your prayers diligently and performing rituals that you dont even know what its for.. but its more giving yourself completely to God and allow things to happen as it should happen. But I'm impatient, if I dont see the results, I get dissappointed and blame God and say that God doesnt like me. I feel like I didn't do enough. I'm dissatisfied that I have to let go of things when I feel that I deserve it. After I did work for it. So what do I do? I stay away from my prayers, feel resentful about the whole thing and after sometime, try to see the positive side of the outcome and finally accept it.

Seeing things that are happening around today, my prayers are selfish and there is a revelation that there are people who are suffering heaps more than I am. There are people in need of Gods attention and my suffering is minuscule as compared to some people. There are people praying for loved ones, people praying for freedom and people praying to survive. And there I am, praying about beating the traffic jam after work. Pathetic huh?

As how a famous actor put it ," What you rightfully deserve, will definately be yours, what you are not supposed to get, will never be yours. "(Thats the best translation I could do, okay?)

I'm not a saint. I do bad stuff too. So I am going to allow God to take the wheel for me and I'll go (maybe a little reluctantly) where I'm taken. I can only hope that the journey is not too rough.

When schnecken beckons..

It has always been one of my dreams to visit India. I got a chance to finally set foot there for my brother's wedding. It was the final journey that we as a family of 5 made. It was more of a bittersweet journey because not only we were going towards the next stage in our lives where spouses, children and then grandchildren are going to make the family grow, but it was the fact that I cannot have my brother to myself anymore. It will now always be Harry and Gauri.. hmm..

Oh well.. I was sick throughout the journey. It sucked big time because India is a food haven and all I could do was to eat cautiously and usually passed on my plate to the other willing eaters.. what an absolute waste.. the little I ate was heavenly.. the wedding ceremonies were long and tiring, not to mention that my mom, sister and I had to change into 3 sarees each.. but it all ended beautifully.. and my brother is finally hitched! Of course my brother's buddy @ Mr Fly was a bigger pain in the butt that he didn't know his place and was not considerate at all to the rest of us.. but the point is.. my brother was happy with the whole thing.. I am happy that my brother will be able to give his heart completely to a person now..

I am also grateful that I got a chance to be with my siblings and talk openly about so many things... I am glad that I met a lot of nice people, my personal favourites, Subash mama & Latha Mausi.. and I have to add that Datta, our assigned driver, was okay too.. It was also funny that I had to be the one communicating to the driver in my broken Hindi...(not to mention that he actually understood what I said)...
In the few days I was there, I saw and experienced some crazy things in India... Like how the poor are really poor and how beggars can be a little nasty.. I saw how people can be vegetarians so easily there because of the wide varieties in vegetables and legumes.. I saw an elephant in the middle of the road.. I saw how people are so comfortable walking in the rain like as though it was clear morning..like how electricity in the hotel room alternated between the tv and the air condition..hahaha... and the list can go on...

I will return to India.. check out other places this time... it was great while it lasted and I have wonderful memories to share and laugh about... I do wish the best for the new couple and to my nutty family.. it was great being together and I love you guys...